Its funny how one day everything doesnt make sense, and the next day it feels like nothing matters. Its funny really how our brains operate. what does it mean to be happy. Living with no troubles with a family just waiting for the day when you take your last breath. I don’t know anymore. As I grow older I feel more helpless and afraid, but im guessing this is normal. Im not the type to go out and have fun, I actually do enjoy just staying home and relaxing. Im not a fan of money or success, just a peaceful life and a healthy family. So what am I a living for right now? Probably living to be something so my parents wont be disappointed. I mean after all , they did sacrafice their whole life to give me a better one, but is this the life I wanna live? My parents would be happy as long as Im happy right? but whos going to suport them. My brother of course, but alone , now thats just selfish on my part. Do I live for God? I want to honestly, but to tell the truth right now its so hard. Maybe its my personality but something inside is pulling me further and further away. Too many questions, and right now I have so much time, but in a blink of an eye I know its going to be too late for me. When I was younger, everything was so innocent and peaceful, maybe that’s why I was so in love with God and it honestly felt like he was my best friend and savior. But as I grew older and experienced so many more things its just makes it so much harder to reconnect. It feels like a lost friend and there’s just nothing to talk about anymore. In reality both sides of the party wants to speak out and tell each other that they still care about each other. No matter how far or distant they may feel, its never a benefit to forget about the memories and relationship they shared. Right now I’m in a rough patch, but I know i can get out. Its just going to take time. I need to find who I am and what I want in life. I know what I want in my head, but I want my heart to want it too.
I was pretty stressed out these past couple of months because I wasn’t getting any of my acceptance letters, but now I’m pretty relieved . With the idea of college and actually doing something with my life, all the little things seem irrelevant. Sometimes I just want to go to school attend my classes and come right home. I love my friends and schools osm with them there but sometimes I just don’t want to talk to anyone . I’m kind of tired of trying to be friends with some people and it’s extremely irritating. During the 8 hours I’m in school , I would say I’m pissed around 60 percent of the time. The thing is, I don’t express it cause why ruin someone else’s day just because your day was shitty. Smile for your friends and smile for people around you. Of course it’s hard to do it all the time , but it’s not impossible . OK I’ll be a fxking hypocrite if I said that I try to be nice all the time, but I honestly think that I try my best to.
Jungs coming home jungs coming home heheheheheehehhbehehebebebbebe c:
I used to be a maybe person
But not anymore
I think I gave up on all my maybes but
Now I’m more refreshed, but not any happier. Thank you 2014
Dear life , you’re not fair
But then again, it’s probably my fault
So I think I suck
I am so freaken determined right now
The truth hurts, really hurts